We stand on the precipice of Spring Break, and you have a bit of extra time to work on Project 2. So, I'd like to get your attention while you're still freshly thinking about Project 2, and like Project 1, make a list of things to consider heading into your final revisions. As I stated last time:
I hope everyone has a good Spring Break, and you can come back to your lists later to get a refresher on the work left to do between now and the conclusion of Project 2 in 2 weeks! DUE BY 11:59 PM, Sunday, March 12th
24 Comments
Taylor Kelley
3/9/2017 01:08:42 pm
Based on the feedback given back to me I have decided to split my topic into era's. The paper will go all the way back to the 18th century to present day. I also have decided to use sub headings like suggested. Rather than trying to find a specific detail about my topic I have decided to do the research and from there gather evidence found for an against my argument. I have to fix some grammatical and punctual errors. I also need to clean up my introduction and begin on my conclusion. I also want to add more specific examples of fad diets in the past and how the affected people. Although the paper is informative i hope to make it interesting and easy to follow.
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Jake Salzsieder
3/10/2017 09:17:58 am
To make my paper better moving forward, I think I’m going to use sub headings to make my paper more coherent. I found that there are several points in my paper where I seem to jump to a totally different subject, but it is essential to my topic. These headings will help outline what these ideas add up to and how they support the main idea. This makes it a lot clearer for the reader. I also would like to make my writing sound more fluid. I tend to be choppy and jump from subject to subject when I write. I need to make my sentences more coherent and lead from one into the next in a normal and not awkward way. This will add to the paper and make it sound smarter, and will just help the reader understand my ideas. There are also some points when I talk about some details that are important, but I don’t expand on them as much as I should. Expanding on these ideas would help my paper. I need these elements in my paper, but I more information would help others see the point I am trying to prove in this paper. I do think I am off to a good start and will be able to wrap it up nicely.
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Taylor Driver
3/10/2017 02:20:46 pm
Heading into my final draft, I have a few major things I must address in regards to my paper. I have a couple paragraphs to add that should really bring everything together in my paper and give it a better flow. I also have to work on my sentence structures, making sure that I do not have any run-on sentences or anything that will distract my readers from my content. I also need to make sure I am able to include all of my sources in ways that are helpful for my readers. I would like my paper to be an easy to read and informative piece that can bring a new understanding to my readers that they may have not had before.
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Darby Brown
3/10/2017 04:28:58 pm
I got some positive reviews on what I have for my essay so far from my peer review group. I have my paper divided into five or six different subheadings and my peer review group seemed to think it flowed well into the different topics. Before I turn this project in I have to work on the introduction by making an interesting opening statement that will draw the readers in. I also have to finish writing under one of my subheadings that I need to do more research on. I will then begin writing my last subheadings. I have to find a way to connect all of my topics together, which I want to make clear in the second to last subheading. I then have to make a conclusion that will hopefully tie all of the information together in an informative and interesting way. But I have to watch what I write about so that I do not make such a huge paper. I have to pick and choose important details from the unimportant details. Lastly, I have to think of a cool and relatable title for the subject matter of my paper. Getting all of these things done will help to make my paper as informative and (hopefully) interesting as it can be.
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Peyton Kelgard
3/10/2017 04:55:42 pm
While heading into writing the final draft of my second paper, there are many things I am going to consider, rethink, and change. One of my suggestions from our peer-review class time, was to also research the positive effects social media could cause. Because of this suggestion, I have decided to change my paper from only focusing on the negative effects of social media, to both the positive effects and negative effects. The general topic of the paper will be the “effects of social media and technology use” and then further narrow to the negative effects and the positive effects. Another suggestion I am going to use in order to better my paper is to sharpen the contrast between the negative and positive effects, but also connect them so the paper flows and is not choppy. In addition to these I plan to address adding more information from my sources to back up my ideas, lengthening my paper to meet the requirements, rewriting and rewording to make my paper flow better as someone reads it, and adding positive effects so my paper simply states all the effects and doesn’t sound like a persuasive paper where I am attempting to convince my readers that social media is negative.
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Paula P.
3/11/2017 03:25:56 pm
As the due date for the Final Draft of Project 2 approaches, I am already considering several aspects that need to be improved or maintained to write the perfect research paper. My research topic is extremely scientific, with chemical, biological, and medical terms. One positive comment I always receive is the way I explain those concepts: with clarity and in detail. As I move on with my topic I make sure to write remarks explaining some processes because I understand that my audience may not know those terms and since they are essential for the understanding of the argument, clarity is critical. Another element I plan to keep is the use of sections to divide the information for this provides structure and organizes the project. On the other hand, I must improve the length of my sentences. Sometimes I get carried away by the topic and start linking concepts without properly separating the idea. This results in long intricate sentences that when read aloud leave you gasping. This can be perfected by editing, because the problem is evident and the solution is clear: punctuation. In addition, and more generally, it’s necessary to further expand on the information because I have not reached the required word count yet. That is my plan as I continue to write the Final Draft
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Saisha Tirado
3/11/2017 07:59:03 pm
Going into this next paper there are a few things I have to consider. I must consider the option of using sub headings so that my paper is cohesive and the pros/cons of animal-assisted therapy are easily identified. I also have to make sure that I include how there were not as many sources for the negatives of animal assisted therapy. I hope to keep my writing interesting and keep the reader engaged rather than making this paper boring and overly informative with unnecessary detail.
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Menina Barton
3/12/2017 09:17:29 am
There are a few things I plan to do in order to improve my project 2. I plan to go more in-depth about the lie detection, specifically in interrogation, and also use examples from actual interrogations. I will add more information on how many cases these certain tactics has helped to solve and give an example of such cases. To do this, I will also be getting more sources to support my claims. Overall, I plan to provide more examples to support my research question.
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Kendall C
3/12/2017 09:18:50 am
After receiving feedback from my peers I have found a few things I want to do before submitting my final draft. I want to make sure that everything is perfect grammatically. Another import thing I want to take care of is modify my introduction to really pull the readers in and intrigue them. I want to add more information to the reader so they can fully understand the innovative technologies within a hospital. Lastly, I want to have a strong closing paragraph to make the readers feel like they enjoyed my research paper and got something out of it.
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Alexa Berland
3/12/2017 06:50:12 pm
Going into the second draft of project two, I have really noticed the benefits of peer review and conferences in regards to our papers. It allows me to write to the best of my ability because I work best off of criticism (whether it is negative or positive). What I have to do going forward is expand my research and credit more sources throughout my paper. I also need to develop my arguments and expand on them in order to have a lengthy yet dense paper. And finally, I must continue to work on each individual sub heading in order to finish the paper.
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Samantha Valenza
3/12/2017 07:21:11 pm
Based on the reviews from the conference I had with you as well as the in-class peer review, I have come to the conclusion that I need to have more sources. With the sources I have now I need to incorporate them more seamlessly, and add more to give my paper that extra touch. I also need to make sure my works cited page is formatted correctly along with my paper meeting all the specified credentials. Reading over my first draft has also made me realize how important I need to pay to my grammatical as well as spelling issues. I think both the conferences and in-class reviews have tremendously helped my papers because it lets an extra set of eyes review them. This way they can see something that I may have glossed over a few times. Overall I am really excited with the way my paper is coming along and can’t wait to finish it.
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Natalie Anon
3/20/2017 08:38:39 pm
After reviewing my rough draft at the conference and receiving my final grade on Project 1, I knew I would have to work on my paragraph structure and integrating my sources. So far my research has led me to many surprising revelations about my topic and I am looking forward to presenting my paper.
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K Kanaday
3/21/2017 05:42:26 pm
In the final draft of my paper, I hope to take all the comments made from you and my other peers to heart and get a solid paper from it. It is easy for a research paper to become a little, I don't want to say boring, but unexciting. And I hope to do the opposite of that. I want to incorporate interesting sources, and not just sources that fulfill the requirements. I still have a few more sources to include to meet those requirements, but I feel it will turn out great. It has become nothing but clear to me how helpful peer review is, because criticism and compliments are a good way to keep you motivated to make it better!
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Alex Lennon
3/22/2017 11:10:38 am
In my first draft, I only wrote about two categories of drugs: depressants and stimulants. I wanted to make sure my ideas and data were clear before completing a full draft of my paper. After receiving feedback from my peers and my professor, I decided to continue in the direction I was heading in. In the same manner as I explained the two previous categories, I am planning on explaining two more: hallucinogens and prescription pills. With the reviews and feedback I got, I believe I can write a great paper!
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Hailey Cannon
3/22/2017 01:03:46 pm
Based off the feedback I got back from my group I learned what was good, what I needed to change as well as what needed to be added. I learned that I needed to elaborate more on my question to help people get a better understanding of the holocaust. I need to go more in depth with detail so it is easier to understand. One part that I learned my group enjoyed was how I elaborated about the concentration camps. I also learned that I needed to fix the way I was setting up this paper to make it easier to understand and for it to be less confusing to understand and read.
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Carla Flores
3/26/2017 04:25:56 pm
After receiving the feedback from my peers, I focused less on the argument of my final draft. My first draft held strong personal opinions of animal testing and their unethical ways of experimenting on animals but for this research paper it doesn’t focus on the argument of the topic but solely based on the research. So for my final draft I made sure to remove any opinionated areas in the paper and add not only the negatives of animal testing but also the positive aspects to stir away from any biased opinions.
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Samantha Martinez
3/29/2017 11:06:51 am
My plans to reach the end of this project successfully and meet all the requirements will be the following: outline how I will start my research and how I will write the essay, research everything I can find on what I am focusing on and what research questions I will be focusing on, make sure all my resources are effective and will work with my paper, have an amazing introduction and finishing conclusion, make sure that my body paragraphs make sense and correlate to what I am arguing and what I am focusing on, make sure that all of my information is cited correctly, make sure that my resources are cited correctly at the end, and lastly, to proofread my paper, have other people read my paper for feedback to see the perfect extent of this paper.
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Micayla Green
3/29/2017 11:08:08 am
Based off the feedback i received from my rough draft, I plan to work on some things over break. I plan to work on incorporating my sources in a more fluid way. I also need to develop more of my own arguments rather than just summarize information from the sources. Overall, my paper is most complete i just need to proofreading and edit some of the body paragraphs and it will be complete.
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Kayleigh Atkins
3/30/2017 10:13:48 am
After receiving feedback from my peers, there are some additions and adjustments that need to be made. I need to connect my points and make my transitions clearer. I will most likely add subtitles so that it is easier for me and the reader to understand my thought process for my research paper. I also need to go into more detail about each ecosystem and define terms that I talked about. I also need to adjust the formatting of my paper as well as add more academic sources. The academic sources need to be in alphabetical order. The similarities paragraph needs to be finished and the conclusion as well.
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Daphne Hood
4/1/2017 02:19:07 pm
After talking with you and my peers about my paper, I had a lot to consider and revise. First off, my paper was not fully complete so obviously I would need to finish it and meet the requirements. The next thing I would have to do is make sure my works cited list was complete. Based on the feedback from my peers, they gave me a lot to consider and think about adding into my paper. I really enjoyed the feedback they gave me for the paper and some of what they said interested me. So another thing on my list would be to research some of the ideas that my peers had gave me.
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Sarah Medley
4/12/2017 12:03:43 pm
I feel like I have a good handle on Project 2. A problem I have in a lot of my writing is being too conversational and making my writing too winding and hard to track, so with this project, I’m going to try not to do that. I also need to focus on presenting my facts in such a way that it doesn’t feel like I’m making a list, because that’s also something I tend to do. I do not enjoy research papers nearly as much as I do with more creative types of essays, but I will try not to let that show in my writing. While they’re easier, I don’t find them challenging. I like being able to have some creative license which is hard to take with something as clean cut as a research paper.
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Liana F.
4/19/2017 01:39:15 pm
The list of things that I made going into my final revisions was based on the feedback I received from you and my peers. I chose to include subtitles to help organize my paper efficiently with the different mode of subtopics within my main topic of the over prescription of opioids. My peers stressed their liking on the use of subheadings to organize my paper an dhow it breaks apart effectively. I took the idea of subheadings during our meeting when we were going over the topic of my paper and my research proposal. Before the research proposal, i was somewhat lost on the direction of this paper and where it was going to take me. Not only you but my peers helped me with topics to discuss such as rehabilitation practices, what causes someone to be an addict, how someone acquires the opioids and what should be done for doctors to not over prescribe along with the gray areas of prescription pills that could be confusing. I was also having difficulty with what my conclusion would be before the meeting until the idea of ways to combat addiction was brought up. This was implemented in my paper along with subtitles which almost served as an outline to help me focus throughout my writing and my research.
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Grant Hawks
4/29/2017 11:37:05 am
Based on the the feedback I got from you and my peers there are a few things I plan to address. I need to make sure the content under my headings are sufficient with the name of the heading. For the most part I have done a good job with this area but I can improve on it. The only other change as of now that I need to make based on the feedback is to make sure I include in text citations throughout my project.
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Arell Harris
4/30/2017 06:49:37 pm
Spring Break will all be touching up on a paper that is pretty much done with. My group mates love the topic and some of the puns that I put in the paper. I need to find a few more academic resources to find research from and have on my works cited page. Most of the resources are from ESPN but I still need a few more. The topic has many stories and connections to real life investigations so it isn't too hard of a problem to find resources.
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